New Beginnings...Again

Tomorrow I will be accepting a job I've been offered this week. I must admit the insurance rates are incredibly high, the commute and hour each way and the pay is slightly less then what I had figured was my 'bottom line' I could accept. These things aside the positives are it appears like a good work environment with a small staff in a large building of other contractor's cubicles but where I will dress casually and get my own cubby to call my own. I am very protective of my work space usually as I keep it immaculate and organized with everything in convenient places for me to access quickly when needed. Having the ability to make that space my own makes me feel more confident so that I can begin again another chapter in my work history. There are set hours where I'll never have to work nights, weekends or holidays and get off at 5pm sharp daily. The job I know I can do and my experience will come in handy to help me in my quest to be the best helpdesk technician they've ever seen! Having steady income for the next 6 years, at least (that's when their contract comes up for renewal) even if it's only slightly more then my unemployment helps our family to feel more secure and therefore even though I'm a bit disappointed in having to take a hefty paycut in this next leg of the rat race, I am hopeful and God will help me work on my humility. Eventually I know I will get where I am supposed to be going if I keep my focus, stay motivated and cast off complacency.

I've always had security issues. Hated change and meeting new people. I've loved having this time of self reflection in my life for the first time in forever. I will miss the freedom that came with this time home including the relationship with my sweet Raven and being a SAHM. The feelings of sadness in loss, fear of new things and uncertainty whisper to me when things become too quiet but I am doing my best to accept and drown them knowing it does me no good to entertain them. Every day that I get closer to starting officially the more I will be closer to letting go. In the meantime I am going to enjoy my last bit of time before that and get things ready for my first day. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Thank You for taking good care of me even when I sound utterly ungrateful! :)