My BFF

I'm thinking about my best friend Tari today. That's one of my favorite pictures of her on the left. Her Aunt Jill passed away at the hospice house late yesterday as Tari held her hand and prayed for to be delivered peacefully right into God's hands. My heart is heavy knowing how sad she is today. She has been Jill's power of attorney for a couple years now I believe it was. I'm not the best with time so forgive me please if I'm off a bit. She'd helped Jill move from living independently in her own home to an assisted living apartment nearer to Tari's family but in the past year she's became more ill off an on. After her last hospital stay Jill was unable to go back to her apartment and instead had no choice but to move into the nursing home in Conrad. She just seemed to be continuing not to thrive there, eating very little since about April, continuing to lose weight, experience more pain and eventually becoming extremely thin and weak. I remember just a couple months ago maybe it was that Tari & I were shopping and she'd told me she wasn't sure what Jill had been diagnosed with exactly. It seemed as though the Doctor's weren't entirely sure themselves but kept treating the immediate issues and continued with more testing. Jill had smoked for most of her life and even when put on oxygen a few months ago she continued smoking which I'm sure was a contributing factor to her premature passing. I remember Tari being quite disturbed when Jill told her that 'She would die this year'. Things had progressed so quickly that it took Tari by surprise hearing her say that and I too was taken aback when a couple days after our shopping trip we were notified that Jill was under hospice's care.
Tari is the kind of woman that's very loyal, very loving, extremely connected to her family and will go the ends of the earth for someone she loves. She and Jill were not unusually close over the years and Tari was given the job of POA because she was the closest in vicinity, she's always been the most reliable person in her entire family and no one else was willing to step up to such a great responsibility. Mind you Tari has been a full time college student for a few years now, has very new grandchildren, young adult children in college, a son that just went to Afghanistan, another who was married 2 weeks ago in Texas that she'd gotten ordained online for when they requested she perform their ceremony, she's started a coop job over the summer at a local company in hopes of networking for later employment after she completes her last year of her degree when the coop ends AND continues to be a full time Mom to her 2 adopted boys in elementary school who suffer from many behavioral issues stemming from their damaging time with drug addicted birth parents before moving from foster home to foster home! And in all of that she also gave her Aunt Jill one of the greatest gifts a human being can give to another. Unconditional love, support, her heart and caring for her until her very last breath upon this earth. She's my hero! And one day we'll do the same for each other. I love you my old Same :)

Crazy Week

We added a new addition to our family this week. And no it's not another dog! LOL Jeremiah finally got his Prius and its a beauty. It was kind of weird how I just felt like after thinking about it on Sunday that on Monday I felt compelled to do the leg work to get Mi his Prius. And by Monday night after 9pm he was driving it home! We didn't really anticipate it going so well and not intending to do it so quickly. But when everything falls into place it's definitely for a reason. And considering that last night on his commute home from Ames was nearly deadly! He had a man dart out in front of him when he's going 70mph on the highway, but by swerving and braking, he narrowly avoided a potentially fatal accident. He's positive in the RAV 4 he wouldn't have been able to have that outcome either. The safety features and quick response time of the Prius being able to corner so quickly at a high rate of speed attests to it's safety rating and quality of it's design. Above is a picture of his new and very first brand new baby :)A view from the drivers seat.
And the interior of the cabin. Chase thought the back seat was quite comfortable but I'm positive that my Sonata is more comfortable all around for me at least. The MPG's at 51 though has mine beat at 32mpg on a good day. The other reason this all happened I think is because Shawn was in an accident 1-1/2 weeks ago with his very recently bought vehicle. Some idiot that works for Jensen ford was taking back a customers vehicle and decided to pull out right in front of him and he's been without a car ever since! They've finally accepted fault 2 days ago but not without my micromanaging them to get processing the claim. We're still waiting on the adjuster to come out and look at to let us know the damage, etc. I am not impressed with the response time of Nationwide at the moment. Anyhoo they agreed on a rental for him but then the only rental place in town didn't have any cars for him but would maybe have them in a couple days. In the meantime it was going to storm and I just decided it made more sense to let him drive the RAV temporarily rather then have the hassle of dealing with rental cars, leaving work to go set it up being the owner of the car til it's paid off, and worrying about the comp/collision fee my agent suggested we get so if anything happened it wouldn't come off our $500 deductible! Here's an after picture of Shawn's car.
We're hoping we can find something for a good price that will replace this car for him and none of us will continue to have bad drivers stalk us and our beloved cars! With privilege comes great responsibility though so one day at a time we'll keep trying to move forward and keep an eye out for danger! I hope everyone else's week has been waaaay less crazy then ours :)

Decompression Weekend

In honor of my Mother this evenings blog will be in black and red. Her favorite colors :)
Enjoyed some time alone with her and Molly 4 last night after Chase went with Mark. Got to give her the update on my workplace antics. Jeremiah was doing his usual Friday night with Brett playing Frisbee golf and Dad was at my sister Cathy's eating scallops I was told so it was just the two of us. I mean 3 with Molly! This is Molly. She's really much cuter then this photograph but it's all I have to work with at the moment. I'm sure there will be more to come as she grows. She's actually about just the right size right now to be one of those dogs women in Beverly hills carry in their purse ;)
I also spent some time with Shawn talking and taking an October evening drive around town with the windows down. It's not going to be this nice forever so I thought we'd make the best of it. Soon enough the weather is just gonna get stupid and I am NOT looking forward to that. The trees already depress me turning colors as I've decided I love them green and full not colored then bare! Yes as I grow older I also hate winter more and more. But for now I'll just accept that it's Iowa. What did I expect?

Work has been crazy for both Jeremiah and I and were both in need of decompressing. We rubbed some chicken with a homemade spice rub and it's sitting in the refrigerator 'curing' until it's ready to go in the smoker tomorrow. Here's the 'before' picture. I'll let you know how it turns out 'after'.Jeremiah is enjoying experimenting with different types of seasonings, meats and types of woods with his Masterbuilt. We'll try the hickory pieces tomorrow and he's planning on giving it a heavy smoke.

Chase has been enjoying Saturday morning bowling's these past few weeks at league. He's averaging about 5-6 strikes a week and today he's trying to qualify with Mark for the family doubles tournament. We'll have to wait til Sunday night to see how that went though. I like giving he and Mark space on their weekends so we don't go watch Chase bowl those Saturdays. I think it's worked out pretty good. He's started selling frozen cookie dough and other sweet treats for the bowling fundraiser and will be doing so through October 22ND. So if you would like to contribute just drop me an email and I'll hook you up!

Some of my personal favorite ways to decompress is doing things like going to the dog park, watching movies with Mi, enjoying good food and watching episodes of XFactor, The Mentalist, Drop Dead Diva and Survivor! The X Factor in fact this past week finally has begun to live up to it's hype and I think I will really enjoy the rest of the season. It's slightly different from American Idol and I like the diversity of ages and styles in this show. Not to mention I do love me some Simon! I'm waiting to watch this week's Mentalist/Drop Dead Diva with Chase. It's kind of like 'our time' and he enjoys it as much as I do. Our direct TV thingy died this last weekend so it's been wonderful having the new one this week even though we lost all of our dvr'd shows. This new one is much faster and responsive! Luckily I didn't miss even one minute of Survivor thanks to my husband :) He's the best.

It's only Saturday though so cross your fingers Decompression Weekend doesn't get interrupted by unexpected drama. Which reminds me! Shawn this week was traumatized when an idiot pulled right out in front of him and wrecked his car! Luckily he's physically fine but the stress of suddenly having your life and freedom stripped from you and not knowing what's going to happen with the insurance companies on if it's going to be replaced or what, is a definite learning experience. We're all hoping it turns out for the best and the guy's insurance pays quickly since he was at fault after obviously being sited for failure to yield. Shawn had put a lot of work and money into the car though that we are concerned won't be compensated for or what they think the car's value is since it was an older used car. All of those 'unknowns' even for a seasoned older adult can be challenge but we need to remind ourselves no matter we'll figure it out as long as we work hard, stay grounded and use our heads on how to best utilize our assets. Instead of focusing on what ifs and why Me's. Life lessons are indeed painful but necessary to become the strong survivors who are wise and can share what they learn with the next generation. And so on, and so on and so, on life. goes. But definitely DECOMPRESS Y'ALL!!

Adjustments

Life currently for our family is about living with adjustments. Chase is adjusting to a new school, new curriculum, new friends and routine. Riding the bus every morning and afternoon now rather then me driving him. Feeling a bit overwhelmed at the numbers of kids and how much he has to work to get more of the teacher's attention and the ability to be chosen to participate when in group settings. He also thinks that in PE today none of the kids on his flag football team were even really trying like they would have at MACS. He did also say that he probably would have preferred to go to MACS instead had he knew then what he knows now. He also though is excelling at his reading and math. Jeremiah helps tutor him on things he doesn't feel he's 'getting' which he says is because he doesn't get as much participation as he would like when the teacher is instructing the class. He's got an A+ in art and all A's except for one B in all of his studies so far. His teachers have been very good about calling/emailing/communicating with me to help keep him accountable and on track as he continues to be challenged with personal responsibility. He's not constantly having to be nagged to get his AR points but instead is right on with where he should be for his Lexile level because Ms. Pistorius makes sure we know his goal/time frame deadline. Chase thinks shes mean but I find her to be challenging him and he's just thinking she hates him because she doesn't let him get away with things including making sure parents sign everything she sends home for us to see! So all in all I'm satisfied this is all going to work itself out over time and together we'll get through it in a positive way.

Jeremiah & I are both adjusting to more and different responsibility at work. He's been promoted to Senior Network Engineer and is hoping soon for the announcement of being in control of the entire internet department now that the previous manager has left. It's a lot more stress, pressure and never enough time to get everything done that needs to be when short a person as they've not hired someone to fill the void left by Tim. They're working on it but as in all things it takes time. My own job is, as I stated before changing entirely. but up until tomorrow I've not been able to get the training I will need to take on something I really have no experience doing! The wait has just made me more anxious now to just get on with learning it because waiting is even more frustrating I think. Plus I really hate not knowing enough about things they are expecting me to take control of and hopefully develop good processes for to straighten out our inventory issues. Watching a couple tutorials today though nearly put me to sleep though! Man that guy's voice is monotone and just leaves me drowsy. But I felt like I had to do something to get a jump on learning. Either way these changes are definitely all about adjusting to new challenges for both of us.

Shawn has been adjusting to many changes in his life. Not only adjusting to weather, but living arrangements, a new job, many expectations to work on himself emotionally as well as financially. We all know how much a challenge it is to learn budgeting, self sufficiency and just navigating our way through our early twenties. This weekend he was ill and came down with bronchitis. Having insurance was something new to him as well. Luckily he could go to urgent care sat afternoon and still only pay a $20 copay for treatment. I've still not gotten the RX card updated though for him at work so I had to pay up front but am hoping now that I talked with our HR person about it that she can get it straightened out and I can have walmart rerun the claims through my insurance for a bit of savings. He has a new girlfriend too and were all adjusting to getting to know her and she us. We all cooked family meals all last weekend together, watched Chase bowl and I hope that things continue to go well for all of us. It's really refreshing when Shawn shows interest in learning to cook more and in wanting to cook with me. It's one area I do love and sharing that love with him would be amazing to experience. We've all had entirely too much time away from each other for far too long though to think it's all going to be butterflies and kittens all the time. We have much to learn about communicating, compromise, getting to know one another better and just generally learning how to live more closely together as a healthy, happy family. As time goes by we realize just how much damage was done by his other families lies, misunderstandings and general lack of a healthy home environment. We cannot expect him to not have a period of adjustment after living through all of that. Helping him to be able to communicate his feelings, what he needs and whats bothering him more easily and with less of an angry tone is a big adjustment for me personally. There's so much that I don't know that he's thinking or feeling and so much of my own pain still from years suffering my own abuse by his Father's actions/choices. I wouldn't change this opportunity for the world though to have hope for a better future and healing for all of us. In order to do that though we'll need to continue to make the necessary adjustments and bob and weave when necessary!

Yes, It's thursday

It's been an exhausting day. Working in a toxic environment of pessimism and negativity takes every ounce of my energy to deflect. Thankfully tomorrow is Friday and I'll get a short time away from a place I more and more grow to hate. If only I were able to live without it. But my budget disagrees. So for now at least, I stay. Selling my soul for the sake of my family and our materialistic needs. Such and oxymoron. Materialistic and Need. Enough with the debbie downer for now. On to more interesting things.

Chase and I had our first consult with the orthodontist Wednesday. They basically confirmed what we'd suspected in that Chase's problem is his jaw really not so much his teeth. It's got an 11mm offset and would need surgery to realign his jaw bones which can't be done until he's nearly done growing and has all of his adult teeth. Which on average is around 15. He'd also need braces post surgery in order to pull the front teeth back in now that they've jutted forward more and more from resting all these years over his lower lip. Something he's very comfortable doing and does it without even thinking. There is one other solution they've suggested in the meantime. It's an appliance similar to a retainer on steroids called the Bionator. Unfortunately it's got a few side effects. Most notably it affects your speech but Dr J assures us friends and family will adjust to it over time. YIKES! That sounds a bit extreme! And it's not like you can test drive it to truly understand exactly what his description really means. And for $1700 with a $300 each replacement cost it's really something you better be sure about before signing on the dotted line. At this point were still deciding what choice is best for Chase and at that cost will have to wait until January anyway before proceeding when my flex can be reloaded. He wants to try it but the fact he's lost his science workbook already this year at school and often struggles with personal responsibility doesn't help me feel any more confident that we'll just be throwing our money away. But the thought of his self esteem improving. helping him to feel less victimized at school from the heartless children who've taunted him for far too long for his teeth, is something a Mother cannot ignore. So for now I'm planning on doing more research online regarding others real life experiences with the bionator. And eventually we'll do whatever's best for Chase.

Shawn is adjusting well to his life's changes living here in Iowa again with his Aunt Lisa. He has a part time job at Subway and recently was given $1.25hr raise. He's had a lot of obstacles to overcome from years living in not the greatest of environments and even though we've done our best to help him build a beginning foundation, it's now up to him to continue brick by brick making it stronger. As with all young people he makes some choices that set him back a bit and he's learning to pick himself back up and remember he can keep going. Realizing with priviledge comes great responsibility and hard work. Finding out more of who he is, was and wants to be while coping with the daily struggles and stresses of working toward self sufficiency. I believe he will continue to move forward and learn from his mistakes. I am very proud of the work he's done thus far and will continue being a support and reminder of what things need improved. Wanting only for him to be happy, emotionally able cope with challenges and to find what makes him build self worth in doing what's right and working hard. It's not easy being young. Lord knows I made monumental mistakes that only hindsight could have convinced me were just plain stupid! If only I could have trusted my Mother enough to think she wanted what was best for me WITHOUT having to live through the pain of immature, impulsive, pipe dreams of love and fairy tale endings. It is only now that I see more clearly how wise she was trying to steer me to more stable relationships, education and career choices. It's hell trying to make up ground later in life for bad planning while young and not realizing time moves so quickly that before you know it, You are wanting the same things for your own sons.

It's getting late now and Jeremiah turns out the lights at 10 so I'll have to leave more new season tv musings for another blog day. Thanks for listening. Feel free to comment if you feel like sharing.