Yes, It's thursday

It's been an exhausting day. Working in a toxic environment of pessimism and negativity takes every ounce of my energy to deflect. Thankfully tomorrow is Friday and I'll get a short time away from a place I more and more grow to hate. If only I were able to live without it. But my budget disagrees. So for now at least, I stay. Selling my soul for the sake of my family and our materialistic needs. Such and oxymoron. Materialistic and Need. Enough with the debbie downer for now. On to more interesting things.

Chase and I had our first consult with the orthodontist Wednesday. They basically confirmed what we'd suspected in that Chase's problem is his jaw really not so much his teeth. It's got an 11mm offset and would need surgery to realign his jaw bones which can't be done until he's nearly done growing and has all of his adult teeth. Which on average is around 15. He'd also need braces post surgery in order to pull the front teeth back in now that they've jutted forward more and more from resting all these years over his lower lip. Something he's very comfortable doing and does it without even thinking. There is one other solution they've suggested in the meantime. It's an appliance similar to a retainer on steroids called the Bionator. Unfortunately it's got a few side effects. Most notably it affects your speech but Dr J assures us friends and family will adjust to it over time. YIKES! That sounds a bit extreme! And it's not like you can test drive it to truly understand exactly what his description really means. And for $1700 with a $300 each replacement cost it's really something you better be sure about before signing on the dotted line. At this point were still deciding what choice is best for Chase and at that cost will have to wait until January anyway before proceeding when my flex can be reloaded. He wants to try it but the fact he's lost his science workbook already this year at school and often struggles with personal responsibility doesn't help me feel any more confident that we'll just be throwing our money away. But the thought of his self esteem improving. helping him to feel less victimized at school from the heartless children who've taunted him for far too long for his teeth, is something a Mother cannot ignore. So for now I'm planning on doing more research online regarding others real life experiences with the bionator. And eventually we'll do whatever's best for Chase.

Shawn is adjusting well to his life's changes living here in Iowa again with his Aunt Lisa. He has a part time job at Subway and recently was given $1.25hr raise. He's had a lot of obstacles to overcome from years living in not the greatest of environments and even though we've done our best to help him build a beginning foundation, it's now up to him to continue brick by brick making it stronger. As with all young people he makes some choices that set him back a bit and he's learning to pick himself back up and remember he can keep going. Realizing with priviledge comes great responsibility and hard work. Finding out more of who he is, was and wants to be while coping with the daily struggles and stresses of working toward self sufficiency. I believe he will continue to move forward and learn from his mistakes. I am very proud of the work he's done thus far and will continue being a support and reminder of what things need improved. Wanting only for him to be happy, emotionally able cope with challenges and to find what makes him build self worth in doing what's right and working hard. It's not easy being young. Lord knows I made monumental mistakes that only hindsight could have convinced me were just plain stupid! If only I could have trusted my Mother enough to think she wanted what was best for me WITHOUT having to live through the pain of immature, impulsive, pipe dreams of love and fairy tale endings. It is only now that I see more clearly how wise she was trying to steer me to more stable relationships, education and career choices. It's hell trying to make up ground later in life for bad planning while young and not realizing time moves so quickly that before you know it, You are wanting the same things for your own sons.

It's getting late now and Jeremiah turns out the lights at 10 so I'll have to leave more new season tv musings for another blog day. Thanks for listening. Feel free to comment if you feel like sharing.