Day 17

Today I was going to stay home and do laundry. That was until I called to check on my Mom and my Dad put her on the phone to talk to me. She was crying because she thought I was dead. I immediately went up there and made sure she knew I was very much alive and there to see her.  For some reason today she had a lot of anxiety and was weepy off and on even with my trying to redirect and distract her. She really misses her dog and wants it to be able to stay at WB with her. That isn't possible but trying to help her understand that is difficult. I even told her it was a state law! It worries me that once the dog is there visiting that she becomes more agitated when it's time to take Molly home. I'm torn on what is best for her. Dad's taking her there tomorrow though so we'll have to see how that goes.

We also talked about her own death since she was contemplating whether she'd actually wake up tomorrow. Unsure if she was ready or not she murmured. After having a bit of anxiety medication she began to calm. She then stated that she wasn't ready to go. I reminded her how she beat cancer's arse already so this wasn't going to get the better of her either. Reassuring her that even though she were there in WB we would be with her the whole way and she was not alone. You see she has a lot of baggage with people leaving her and now at her most vulnerable she's even more afraid and sure that we have to leave her too. My Dad isn't like that though. He's in it for the long haul and so am I. He's her final gift of security. The one that doesn't leave. I can relate to this.

We're learning a lot more about how to deal with dementia patients mentally & emotionally. The medication has seemed to help too. Now we have to get her more physically strong to walk around with her walker on her own. The toileting seems to be going better with the new antibiotic they prescribed for the urinary tract infection they FINALLY got a positive result on. My dad seems to think if she could be stronger we could possible bring her home. I'm uncertain. He also wishes she could move out of the dementia ward into the general population. I don't know if were just fooling ourselves or if it really is an option. Time will tell.