Missing You

There are constant burdens we as individuals must bare privately. Most days we quietly carry them deep within ourselves while silently coping. The hustle and bustle of our days make it easier to keep them locked away as current responsibilities beckon our immediate attention. From the stresses of our jobs, to the constant organizing of our minor children's schedules, or in the daily chores of making dinner and random loads of never ending laundry. I am gratefully exhausted for the ritual of routine that keeps my quiet challenges at bay, most days any way. But then. IT happens.

Suddenly that nagging feeling in your belly which is usually faint from accepting that there are things in life we have no control over, bubbles up a little further. Then becomes a little bit louder. And before you know it, it's staring you right in the eyes leaving you unable to look away. The powerlessness of the situation brings you to your knees in a flash flood of tears. The moment frought with frustration and loss. You remind yourself that relief will follow once the toxins are purged. So you momentarily curl like a crumpled damp kleenex as images of your sadness play out in your head. Hoping no one is looking because if you're anything like me you cannot STAND to have others witness your secret, solitary bouts of squishyness.

Then just as quickly as it blew in, it slips out. Each outward sigh, blow of your nose and splash of water on your face brings about a little more relief. The quiet this time not as frightening in your post toxin release. It's healing powers give way instead to a relaxed numbness of relief. Or at least maybe for the time being seeing as our private burden really hasn't left us completely. It's merely managable for today. The feelings of missing you never truly go away.... I really hate being what seems like a million miles away. Is it raining there today? Why haven't you called me even if you do have to us someone else's phone? Are you happy? Hungry? Everything OK? I know, I know. You're fine. Sighs...