January 2009

Lots of things have been happening already and we are barely into the new year 2009. Some things of course include the inauguration of President Obama, the recession is in full swing and jobless rates continue to sore daily. My own job situation remains in limbo still. It sounds like June will now be 'D-Day' so if all doesn't go well I too could be amongst the many jobless . Which would really suck because we bought a new car last weekend. It wasn't planned that way. In fact I never would have done it if I weren't forced to. So to speak. -chuckles- What am I talking about you ask yourself? Where do I begin......

It was the morning of the inauguration. I had just dropped Chase off at his school and was heading to work in my Versa. 10 blocks later suddenly out of no where a big ole Durango turned directly in front of me and left nothing for me but to impact it's backend! Next thing I know hearing that awful crush of metal I realize the airbag had opened because I could see it deflating before me. The car murky, a lingering smoke like appearance hanging in the air. The smell absoloutely horrid! Needless to say it had 'rung my bell'. I immediately thought I must be on fire!! It eneded up being just the reside from the powder that is emitted when the airbags deploy and not a fire. I tried quickly gathering my purse and belongings on the passenger seat and scrambled out of the car. I looked but there were no flames of any kind and I questioned there being a 'fire.

I quickly asked the two passengers who were getting out of their vehicle if they were alright. I took inventory of myself and seemed to be all in one piece. Shaken to my core yes but nothing appeared broken or bleeding but my mind was slightly foggy. I was shaking but tried terribly to remain calm. In fact I think I was in shock afterward because I couldn't seem to remember seeing it even happen. My body was numb except for the shaking inside. And now I'd found myself standing in front of McFarland Clinic in the cold January temperatures trying not to cry, but failing miserably. My beloved, very first, brand new car was strewn before me in pieces in the street and curb. It's entire front end violently torn off and tossed amongst the street's melting dirty snow. My front license place with it's bolts shorn right off had sailed up onto the sidewalk and lay crinkled. I dialed 911 once I knew everyone was alright. Except I wasn't alright. The other driver told me she didn't have insurance when I'd asked her if she were covered! Suddenly the nightmare began spiraling down further. I was so grateful Chase wasn't in the car but I had an overwhelming feeling of being alone, cold and afraid. I dialed Mi and barely got out that I'd been in an accident but I thought I was ok but my car was totalled. Then the police arrived and I had to quickly let him go. My mind not even registering how frightened I suddenly must've made him feel not knowing anything else. Not even where I was at the time or how to find me there.

The police charged the other driver with failure to yield and no insurance but none of it was my fault so of course I was not cited for anything. I had to ride to my sister's house in the back of the squad car though because I had no other transportation since the tow truck driver was 'too busy' with other calls! -rolls my eyes- I should've been more upset that I had to get in the back of the police car without having done anything wrong but by now my nerves were gone. I wanted nothing more then to run to Lisa's house and finally be able to just breakdown and surrender to the shock, fear and loss of everything that just took me by surprise. I hated having others see me so out of control in my eyes at least. On the outside to the world I did my best to seem calm. Inside I was crying uncontrollably grieving for my sweet little beeper and how we'd both just been raped. Knowing inside he was beyond repair, unsure of my own future and reminded of my mortality and it's unpredictible nature. My security 'issues' ripped open and thrown in my face at full force and I wasn't coping with them well.

I walked in Lisa's door and she just held out her arms and for once big sister just collapsed in little sister's arms and weeping uncontrollably. Thinking how pathetic it was to be so upset over something that wasn't half as bad as it could've been and 'feeling' the loss of my beeper! Yet it is how I felt and Lisa consoled me truly understanding as only she can crazily. I was relieved to be there but was reeling mentally. I'd never experienced something so violent and I couldn't help thinking what would have happened if I'd been going faster. Like at highway speeds which I do daily on my commute to work! It left me too vulnerable for words. Luckily Mi was there before I knew it and he too experienced my mini breakdowns while letting me know it was going to be alright. Without him my life would be unworth living. He is the reason I survive and thrive. And through all of this he was my Savior. My Rock. My Caretaker. And because of it I began to come back down to earth and cope with processing the entire experience. We visited the doctor later that afternoon after the adrenaline started wearing off and the stiffness in my neck, pain in my hands and heaviness in my arems began to become apparent. I was diagnosed with whiplash and she explained how the nerves in my neck affected all the other parts of my body. She told me to stay home the rest of the day and the next while prescribing muscle relaxants and pain killers. I was at least relieved to understand my symptoms and knowing I was probably going to be fine in a matter of time. Luckily the story gets better though....

The insurance took some time and Mi handled all of it incredibly well! Spending numerous amounts of time on the phone arranging details to get the process going as quickly as possible. He and Chase even cleaned the entire house in preparation for the adjuster to visit and talk with me. I wasn't of much use physically at this point but I couldn't have been prouder of my 'men'. The let me know that when the going got tough they would help take care of me and anything else that needed to be. It was an incredible lesson for all of us. I only wish I could've talked with Shawn. But it didn't happen. Not now at least. But it reminded me of how I could die suddenly and he'd never see or talk to me again and he didnt even know. Nor do I know if he even really cares. Things are strained. And I am sad. But what can I do? But to have faith that this too shall pass. And one day things will get better with he and I. I have hope.

4 days after the accident we bought a new car. It was unbelievable how smoothly it went and the dealer even suggested we take it home before things were even finalized. We purchased a beautiful 2009 Hyundai Sonata GLS in dark cherry red. Stock photos are posted below since I've not had a chance to take any of our own photos for now.
The Interior
Another View of Exterior
And I absoloutely ADORE the new beauty. She's a keeper. Now if I can just get past the anxiety when in traffic I'll be fine. For now though. We're enjoying the XM radio and how she rides like a summer breeze on a sunny serene day! Til next time.